November 28, 2010

Onion-esque headlines, volume 3

Posted in Onion-esque tagged at 10:41 am by chavisory

For your Sunday newspaper-reading pleasure….

“I wasn’t in a pie-eating contest, I was racing ducks, says mum who bottled man in pub toilet.” –, 7/23/10

“Eviction notice goes to owner of Ohio killer bear.”  –AP, 8/28/10

“Victoria Beckham: Is she for real?”  –New York Times, 9/3/10

“Jehovah’s witnesses mad that atheists won’t keep their views to themselves.” –, 9/8/10

“FOX calls for repeal of the 20th century.” –Media Matters, 9/8/10

“Klingon opera makes debut in the Netherlands.” –Christian Science Monitor, 9/11/10

“Tensions linger between Pope and Anglicans” –New York Times, 9/22/10

“UK proposes all paychecks go to the state first” –, 9/20/10

“Pantless stand against authority is a mere blip in Boulder’s long culture war” –New York Times, 9/22/10

“GA leader: Boring names will stop rural sign theft” –AP, 9/25/10

“Abstract Expressionism is so overrated.” –Newsweek, 9/25/10

“Philosophy Day raises questions before it begins.” –New York Times, 10/24/10

“Radioactive rabbit trapped on nuclear reservation.” –Tri-City Herald, 11/5/10

“Kanye denies Illuminati membership rumors.” –Hip Hop Weekly, 11/5/10

“Underground grilled cheese dealer to become high-end restaurant manager.” –NYPost, 11/4/10

“Police arrest 20 who tried to sneak into unused subway station filled with art.” –New York Times, 11/12/10

“Picture books no longer a staple for children.” –New York Times, 10/7/10

“Florida boy donates pet turtle to aquarium, watches it get eaten alive by alligator.” –New York Post, 10/13/10

“Missing Irishman found down [at] his local pub.” –Irish Central, 10/12/10

Thanks to Emily #2, Matt, and Joe for contributions.

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