August 18, 2010

Headlines that should be from The Onion

Posted in Uncategorized at 5:12 pm by chavisory

I’m having a really difficult week, so to strike a lighter note…I’ve been collecting these for a little while.  Headlines that you would think should be from The Onion, but they’re not; they’re all too real, real stories from real media sources.  Some are unintentionally ironic or satirical.  Some frame a ludicrous situation with hilarious dryness or understatement.  Some convey a completely different story than I think they were intended to do.  Some make me wonder where some of these people went to journalism school, or if there are any copy editors alive anymore.  In this installment, the ones that just made me laugh.

So here is the first installment of “Headlines that should be from The Onion, but they’re not…they’re real.”

“Gin Blossoms to headline party for Delta employees” –, 5/14/09

“Think tank accuses Ahmadinejad of distorting facts.”  –AP, 5/30/09

“Study: Twitter next to useless.” –AMNYork, 6/5/09

“Digital TV Transition inspires anger, fear, other mongerings.” –, 6/11/09

“Why round sunglasses?  A style investigation….”  –New York Times, 6/12/09

“Billy Joel’s daughter is as shocked by split [from 27-year-old third wife] as you are.”  –, 6/18/09

“Gangsta gene identified in US teens.”  –New Scientist, 6/19/09

“Che Guevera’s granddaughter poses semi-naked for animal rights.”  –Daily Mail, 6/19/09

“Albany Democrats sneak into Senate and lock Republicans out.”  –New York Times, 6/23/09

“Seriously, where’s Governor Sanford?”  –, 6/23/09

“Incoming Alaska governor to Tweet less than Palin.”  –, 7/7/09

“Wanted:  Late Columbian drug lord’s escaped hippos.” –, 7/10/09

“Rufus Wainwright’s first opera: Diva issues.”  –New York Times, 7/13/09

“Lost British teenager says he was ‘total idiot.’” –AP, 7/19/09

“Pakistani Taliban leaders fighting amongst themselves?” –Time, 8/10/09

“Austrian woman reports otter attack in Wisconsin.” –, 8/11/09

“Broadway’s Westside Story has a minor lyric change.” –, 8/25/09

Guitar Hero 5 makes rocking out easier than ever.” –New York Times, 9/2/09

“Hindu and Jew urge Madonna to take up Gypsy cause.” –AP, 9/2/09

“New IKEA catalogue angers typography fans.” –New York Times, 9/5/09

More to follow.  Enjoy.

1 Comment »

  1. Derek said,

    These are wonderful. 🙂

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